Eight Years In and Feeling Good
A reflection on belonging, faith, and choosing the life I live now.
The desert has a way of slowing you down and showing you who you’ve become.
Eight years in Phoenix. Seven years married. Both still surprise me. I step outside, feel the warmth on my skin, and think about how I once believed I could only live in Chicago. The pulse of the city and the sound of the El reminded me that Chicago was alive. Now I’m rooted in the desert, shaping a life I never pictured.
And here’s what I’ve learned: sometimes the place you never imagined becomes the place that grows you the most.
I thought marriage would bring certainty. Instead, it came quietly, with a calm I didn’t expect from the moment we connected. Looking back, I see how my choices shaped this chapter. Underneath it all was a truth I avoided then. I felt detached and unsure how to ground myself in an unfamiliar city.
At first, I focused on what Phoenix lacked. I missed home, friends, and familiar places. I called it self-care, but it was really self-protection. Over time, I began to understand that self-care is clarity. Like this season of my life, the desert moved slowly and invited me to do the same.
Trips to Tulsa and Chicago became my reset. Laughter, conversation, and the comfort of familiarity filled me up. But distance tells the truth. On one of those trips, a close friend and I talked through what I had been feeling, and it shifted my perspective. She reminded me that I was stepping into a life I had chosen, and clarity would meet me when I was ready to see it.
The people who know you well always bring you back to yourself.
With that shift, I started asking better questions. What kind of community was I really seeking? I missed the comfort of women who look like me and understand the unspoken parts of our experiences. Finding that connection in Phoenix took time.
My friendships still run deep, and my husband is steady. Still, community with other African American women carries a different kind of strength. It is belonging. It is being seen. It is sharing stories that matter. Accepting that helped me create small daily practices that made Phoenix feel more like home.
Faith played a role too. I remembered who I belong to. Scripture says His plans give hope and a future. I wasn’t empty. I was in a season meant for inner work, strengthening my faith, my marriage, my family ties, and the way I show up in the world.
That grounding gave me room to breathe and notice how God had been guiding me all along.
Grounding often shows up in the quiet places where God speaks the loudest.
Through prayer, family, and the support of friends, I’ve stayed steady through this journey. What I know now is this: when Black women land in unfamiliar places, we still root, rise, and make the ground beneath us sacred.
That steadiness is what I want to share with you, the way we keep moving forward even when the path isn’t clear.
If this journey speaks to you, I would love for you to stay close. Join me for In Season each week, where I share reflections, style notes, travel moments, and the small everyday practices that help us live with intention.
Sign up, settle in, and walk this season with me.
Always in Season,
Anita Rechell
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